Helping Older Siblings Adjust to a New Baby

A Big Transition for the Whole Family

Bringing home a new baby is a big moment! Not just for parents, but for the little one who’s about to become a big brother or sister. Whether your older child is two, five, or twelve, this transition can stir up a mix of excitement, curiosity, and some very real feelings. And here’s the thing about sibling adjustment: it isn’t about perfection. It’s about creating space for everyone’s emotions (the big, the messy, and the unexpectedly sweet). 

Preparing Your Child Before Baby Arrives

A little preparation before birth can make a big difference. Children feel more secure when they understand what to expect, so having honest conversations about the upcoming changes is incredibly helpful. Explain that the baby will need help with many things your older child already does independently, but remind them that their special place in the family isn’t changing. Many parents also find it helpful to involve their child in baby preparations such as choosing an outfit, picking out a book, or helping organize baby items. For toddlers and preschoolers, practicing with a doll can be both fun and gives them a chance to imitate caregiving in a low-pressure way.

Navigating the Early Weeks After Baby Arrives

Once the baby is home, emotions can run high for everybody, and that’s completely normal. One of the most powerful things you can offer is emotional validation. Older siblings may feel jealous, unsure, curious, or overwhelmed. They might say things like, “I don’t like the baby,” and while that may sting, meeting those feelings with calm understanding goes a long way. Letting them know it’s okay to feel that way helps them feel seen and often reduces the behaviors parents worry about.

Understanding Regressions and Big Feelings

It’s common for older siblings to experience regressions during this transition. A child who was fully potty trained may have accidents again, or a previously independent sleeper might need more closeness at bedtime. These regressions aren’t misbehavior; they’re communication. They’re simply asking for reassurance in the only ways they know how. Offering patience, consistency, and gentle reminders can help them feel secure again.

Carving Out One-on-One Time

One of the most grounding things you can do during sibling adjustment is to create small pockets of one-on-one time with your older child. Even ten minutes of focused connection each day can deeply support their sense of security and belonging. Parents find it easy to give jobs to the older child, but it can lead to resentment between siblings, which is why it is best to carve out one on one time rather than having the older child constantly participate with the baby.

Supporting Sibling Bonding Naturally

Bonding doesn’t need to be forced. Sweet, simple moments often mean the most, such as reading to the baby, gently touching the baby’s hand, helping pour water during bath time, or walking alongside the stroller. These small experiences help build familiarity and connection without overwhelming either child. Over time, these little moments add up to a meaningful relationship.

Keeping Routines Stable and Predictable

With so much change happening around them, older siblings rely heavily on the stability of familiar routines. Keeping mealtimes, school schedules, bedtime rituals, and regular activities as consistent as possible can help your child feel grounded. Predictability gives them a sense of control and safety, making the transition smoother and less stressful.

Helping Visitors Support the Older Sibling Too

One often overlooked piece of sibling adjustment is how visitors interact with your older child. Friends and family naturally gravitate toward the new baby, which can unintentionally leave an older sibling feeling invisible. Before visitors arrive, it’s helpful to gently remind them to greet your older child first or acknowledge their new role as a big brother or sister. A little intentionality can make them feel valued and included.

Giving Yourself Grace Through the Process

Supporting an older child through this transition while caring for a newborn is a big emotional and physical task. It’s normal to feel stretched thin at times. You may even feel guilty or unsure if you’re giving enough attention to either child. But the truth is that your children don’t need a perfect parent; they need a present one. Your warmth, your effort, and your love are more than enough.

Final Thoughts

Sibling adjustment is a journey filled with growth, emotion, and connection. Some days will bring sweet moments that melt your heart while other days may have you regretting your life choices. But through it all, your family is learning and evolving together! With patience, compassion, and gentle support, your older child will find their own beautiful way into their new role.

If your family is preparing for this transition and you’d like extra support during those early weeks, I’d love to walk alongside you. No family has to navigate this season alone.