The Truth About Infant Sleep: What’s Normal, What’s Not, and How to Cope
One of the biggest surprises for new parents is how much (or how little) babies actually sleep, and how unpredictable it can feel. You’ve probably heard the phrase “sleep like a baby,” but most parents quickly learn that babies don’t always snooze peacefully through the night. If you’re wondering whether your baby’s sleep patterns are normal or if you’re doing something wrong, you are not alone.
As a postpartum doula, I want to give you a clear, compassionate look at what infant sleep really looks like in the first year, so you can take a deep breath and know that you and your baby are right on track.
So, what’s normal when it comes to baby sleep?
Short sleep cycles: Unlike adults, babies cycle through sleep stages every 45-60 minutes, which is why they often wake frequently.
Day/night confusion: In the first weeks, many newborns mix up their days and nights. This usually resolves by 6-8 weeks as their circadian rhythm develops.
Frequent night waking: It’s biologically normal for babies to wake every 2-4 hours to feed, especially in the first 6 months. Their tiny stomachs simply can’t hold much at once.
Contact naps: Many babies sleep best on or near a caregiver. This is not a “bad habit.” It’s a deeply ingrained survival instinct.
What’s not typical (and worth checking with your provider)?
Every baby is unique, but a few things are worth mentioning to your pediatrician. These don’t necessarily mean something is wrong, but it’s always best to check in.
Persistent snoring, noisy breathing, or pauses in breathing during sleep.
Extremely difficult-to-soothe crying that seems connected to sleep.
Sleeping way more or way less than average for their age (for example, under 10 hours or over 20 hours in 24 hours).
Lack of growth or difficulty feeding paired with sleep challenges.
How to Cope as a Parent
Even when you know frequent waking is normal, that doesn’t make it easy. Here are some strategies to support you through the foggy newborn nights:
Prioritize rest where you can. Nap when your baby naps isn’t always realistic, but even closing your eyes for 20 minutes can help reset your body.
Share the load. If you have a partner, take shifts or divide the night so both of you get at least a stretch of uninterrupted sleep.
Create a calming bedtime routine. A simple sequence of dim lights, feeding, swaddle or sleep sack, and gentle rocking will help signal sleep over time.
Set realistic expectations. Many babies don’t “sleep through the night” until well past 6 to 12 months. Let go of pressure and comparisons.
Accept help. A postpartum doula, family member, or trusted friend can step in for a night or daytime shift so you can truly rest.
The Bottom Line
Infant sleep isn’t broken, it’s just different than what we, as adults, expect. Frequent waking, contact naps, and unpredictable patterns are all part of normal development. The key is finding ways to cope and protect your own rest in the process.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or unsure how to manage your baby’s sleep needs, you don’t have to figure it out alone. As a postpartum doula, I support families through these exact challenges, helping you rest, recover, and feel confident in your baby’s rhythms.
You are not failing. You are not alone. This is normal. And you will find your groove.